ASTORIA

Astoria Oregon, between the fires, the shipwrecks, and the haunted tunnels, it’s a miracle anything’s still standing. Ghost Adventures showed up. The Goonies made it famous. Somehow, it always crawls out of the ashes weirder, wetter, and even more proud of its haunted maritime chaos.

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Underground Tours

This is the part of Astoria the tourists above ground never see. And maybe that’s for the best. The tour has history, darkness, and the occasional ghost story. All underground.

Key Info:

• Price: $20, best to book ahead.
• Location: Beneath downtown Astoria
• Tour length: About 45 minutes
• Guides: Locals who know the weird stuff and love telling it.
• Content: Bootlegging, brothels, tunnels, shady business.
• Vibe: Dark, damp, mildly haunted
• Warning: You might see mannequins. You might hear whispers. It’s fine. Probably.

ASTORIA COLUMN

It’s a column. It’s dramatic. And it’s watching you from the hill whether you visit or not. Tall, twisty, and weirdly impressive for something covered in historical doodles.

Key Info:

• Fee: $5 parking fee, but climbing the tower is free if you survive the stairs.
• Climb: 164 spiral steps.
• Height: 125 feet
• Built: 1926
• Location: Coxcomb Hill, the highest point in Astoria.
• View: 360-degree panorama—Columbia River, Pacific Ocean, and tiny people below.
• Art: Covered in a mural done in sgraffito

Goonies House

The Goonies house is basically holy ground for 80s kids and movie nerds. Tucked up in Astoria, Oregon, it’s where Mikey clutched his inhaler and dreams, and Chunk did… whatever Chunk did. You can visit, snap a photo from the driveway, and whisper “Goonies never say die!” into the Pacific breeze. Just don’t be weird about it. It’s still someone’s house.

• Where? 368 38th St, Astoria, OR. Yes, it’s real. No, you can’t move in.
• Why it matters: It’s the house from The Goonies. Truffle Shuffle not required.
• New Boss: Superfan Behman Zakeri bought it in 2022. Childhood dream = achieved.
• Restoration Mission: He’s bringing it back to full Goonies glory before the 40th anniversary, presumably with booby traps included. Respect.
• Can I see it? Yep—just be cool. Photos from the driveway are usually fine. No climbing fences.

Pidgeon Steps

The Pigeon Steps in Astoria are what happen when your town is too steep for regular sidewalks but too quirky for stairs. Designed in 1927 by Alfred Tee—probably after watching someone ski down a hill in street shoes—these sloped walkways come with tiny bumps for traction and bonus style points. They’re named after the way you kind of waddle up them. You’ll find them on 11th Street between Irving and Jerome, along with a nice view of the Columbia River and a strong sense of “what exactly am I walking on?”

The Wreck of Peter Iredale

A rusted old ship sticking out of the beach like it refuses to leave. Just 20 minutes from Astoria. It’s eerie, sometimes photogenic (though not when we went), and weirdly stubborn. Basically, peak Oregon Coast energy.

• Crashed in 1906 thanks to thick fog and bad luck

• Was heading to Portland but never made it

• All 27 people on board survived, so no ghosts (probably)

• They tried to tow it back out to sea. It laughed and stayed stuck

• What’s left: the bow and a few ribs still poking up from the sand

• Easy to get to—short walk from the parking lot, no fee

• Best viewed at low tide, unless you like wet socks

PLACES TO EAT

SHELL GAS STATION

Not a typo. The best chicken tenders we’ve ever had came from this Shell gas station. Hand-breaded every morning, hot, crispy, and suspiciously perfect. We go the wrong way home just to stop there. No regrets. Just chicken.

2264 Marine Dr, Astoria, OR 97103